Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God.
-Diana Robinson
I have never really meditated. Only guided meditation. Praying is my thing. I pray because I like to talk a lot… praying gives me the opportunity to talk even more. I struggle with silence. When there is silence you can guarantee that if you’re in a room with me, I will start to talk faster than a bullet. I know that when people hop off the phone to me sometimes they have a headache and that they had forgotten everything that we had just talked about.
I believe there is a part of me that fears silence. If there is silence does it mean that I have to listen to the voice in my head that is negative or will that fear that I have pushed down rise again? I’ve worked so hard for this to not happen.
Lately I’ve been feeling a huge nudge to meditate, not guided meditation. Just sit by myself with nothing else, no music, no talking, nothing. The idea initially scared the hell out of me. So I jumped in. I decided to set aside a good two hours to meditate the other day. When you are a mum of three small children two hours by yourself is better than chocolate. Nothing competes. There are a dozen things I could be doing, but this nudge from my angels to mediate was getting stronger.
Recently I have put so much energy into making my body healthy, my soul enlightened; yet I am still not meditating, from my understanding it is one of the most integral steps for developing spiritually, equally as important for good mental and physical health. It was time to start meditating I was ready. Praying wasn’t enough anymore. The visions I had of me meditating weren’t good. I had thoughts of my mind wondering of me getting a sore back, bored or just over it.
I decided to sit on my bedroom floor (not very special). The only thing I decided to do was hold onto rosary beads. I felt guided to do this. I just sat. I must admit after the first half hour into the meditation I had fewer thoughts racing into my head. At about the Forty-Five minute mark I could feel a wave of energy through my body and a loud ringing sound in my ear. Then at one hour everything went completely silent, I was aware of nothingness. There was blackness; I no longer could feel any body part. I felt disconnected from everything but connected at the same time. Another ten minutes after this I felt peace. Peace is the only word I have that can describe it. It was beautiful.
Initially I had thoughts of seeing guides or angels or having prophetic visions but there was nothing… a whole lot of nothing. The nothing was divine, however. Had I just entered an altered state of consciousness? A place fear no longer resides, where there is stillness, where you no longer feel judgment? I don’t know, but I now get why people meditate and I have to do it again. My energy body feels larger yet lighter. It is palpable.
The next day after my second meditation there was just peace. A deep knowing that this fear inside of me is just an illusion, a story. It is safe for me to be quiet. I’m only at day two. I can’t imagine what twenty years of meditating is going to do for me. I feel blessed I listened to my nudge (quiet forceful yet friendly nudge).
I totally recommend meditation if you haven’t already tried it. You don’t need any props just a quiet place where you wont be interrupted. Remember to just let go. There will come a point where there is only peace. Remember to ground yourself when you finish. You need to return back to your body. You can ground yourself by putting your feet on the grass or touching your body. Mediation is the way the universe gives you all the guidance and information you need.
I don’t feel the need to talk as much anymore. I’m sure my husband will be happy with this.
Love and light and all things nice,
Kylie Riordan x
Originally Posted on http://mindfulmummyhealing.com
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